Goblin Herpies Chronicles

Prison Break:
End of Prologue


The fabulous five sleep soundly after their adventures beneath The Erect Elephant. Feeling rejuvenated and ready, the party meets the next morning at the bar. It is here that Magnus is able to share some information he learned from the pages given to him by Roland. First he has discovered an excerpt written in an ancient necromantic language. Using his knowledge he is able to decipher the following: “The ultimate way for men to ascend to undeath is for the change into a lich. Needed phylactery.”

Magnus then shows the second piece of information Magnus obtained. It is a scroll with directions on how to make a magic ring. Magnus informs the party that he will learn to make the ring by talking to a jeweler in hopes that it will help them rescue Lambert (so that they finally can get paid).

While at the bar, the party also hears that Alfonzo’s followers are hosting a rally at the city square. Together they leave the bar and head to the village square. There they find a gathering of people being addressed by a man at a podium. This man calls himself Boxen Mandrake.

As Roland heckles Boxen with questions, Judas find’s another of Alfonzo’s followers: the leprosy ridden Manuel Sinisteros. “Your missing a hand,” Judas bluntly observes as Manuel tells him about how Alfonzo can perform miracles.

Together the party learns that Alfonzo has been put in jail and will be executed in 3 days. The people supporting him believe him to be a miracle worker, capable of fantastic feats even without magic. He was thus arrested as a blasphemer and threat to the general public.”

The party decides that they should visit Alfonzo in jail to get more information. On their way to jail they pass by a jewelry shop and cafe. Magnus goes to the jeweler and meets the shop owner, Hephaestus, who claims to be looking for an apprentice. Roland and Judas decide to go to the coffee shop, where Roland hits on the barista as Judas attempts to steal the shop’s cash register.

This criminal activity quickly grabs the attention of the guards who promptly arrest both Roland and Judas. Both half-orcs are rid of all their possessions, except for Jezebel who manages to remain concealed. Seeing his fellow party members being arrested, Magnus decides to intervene by poking a guard with his weapon. He too is arrested but not before attempting to hide his urgrosh – an axe head and a spear point on opposite ends of a long shaft, up his butt. The impossible, yet certainly brave attempt earns Magnus a damaged rectum.

Of the remaining four, left behind is only Happens, who quickly chases after the wagon towards the jail.

At the jail, Roland is put in isolation after trying to further resist his arrest. The remaining two, Judas and Magnus are lead down a different hallway and put into a regular cell which happens to be beside Alfonzo’s. As the guards leave Magnus and Judas behind, Magnus calls to Alfonzo.

Meanwhile, Happens arrives at the jail where he meets with reception. He is informed that both Alfonzo and Roland are not allowed visitors or release, but any other prisoners may be visited and released if their bail terms are met. Happens agrees to leave his weapons behind and goes to meet his other party members in prison.

Together the three come up with a plan to escape. First, Happens feigns illness to attract the jailer. As he approaches Happens casts daze before throwing the man into the bars. Judas then attempts to bite the jailer on the neck, but doesn’t succeed. The jailer responds by landing a hard punch into Judas’ face before calling more guards. Before these guards arrive, Magnus manages to use a command spell to get the jailer to drop his keys. Judas then snatches the keys and hides it within…himself.

In being caught trying to help the prisoners, Happens too is arrested and thrown into isolation in the cell beside Roland’s.

As the rest of the party attempts their first escape, Roland begins his own. First, he uses his break bonds spell to free himself of his manacles. Next, he orders Jezebel into the lock of his cell door where her acid body makes quick works of the metal. Freeing himself from the metal closet, he then calls to a guard, attempting to intimidate him.

“See how I broke these manacles? Now imagine what I could do to your neck.”

Terrified the guard turns to run but not before Roland casts voice of command on the guard, ordering him to strip naked. The guard does so and then flees before accidentally knocking himself out. Roland grabs the guard uniform and uses the keys to rescue Happens.

Grabbing three manacles from the wall, Roland slaps a pair on Happens before going downstairs to meet the rest of the party. To Roland’s surprise, he finds that Judas and Magnus have already escaped their cell. Prior to this they had tried to make an attempt to rescue Alfonzo only to discover he has no intention of being freed.

As the party makes their plans to escape, Jezebel reveals herself to Alfonzo, attracted by the presence of the magic which originally helped spawn her. Alfonzo notices this and calls to Roland. Roland approaches Alfonzo, who then snatches Roland’s neck causing him to fall on the ground. The party first thinks Roland is dead, only to realize later that he is just paralyzed.

They come up with a new plan. Switching clothes with Roland, Happens takes the disguise of a guard while Roland becomes the prisoner. Happens then escorts the group to the infirmary, where he hands over Roland. While moving, Magnus quips,

“Maybe they can heal my ass, too.”

Inside the infirmary, Roland is placed on a medical cot beside the same naked guard he had scared before. Luckily the guard remains unconscious.

Happens and the rest of the prisoners are ordered back to their cells. The remaining party leaves Roland while making their way to the evidence room. The evidence room is guarded by only one guard, who attempts to call for help but not before Magnus casts silence.

Though Judas manages to bite the guard, and Happens attempts to swing his stolen guard’s sword, it is Magnus’s icicle that eventually finishes him off. Penetrating his neck, the icicle pins the guard to the wall as an eruption of blood quickly freezes like an elaborate ice sculpture coming from the wound. Judas then removes the guard’s clothes as Happens recovers the party’s items from the evidence chest. Additional items are also found.

Searching the room further, the party finds a registry book where all prisoners are listed alongside their bail prices. Alfonzo does not have a bail price, and instead is marked for execution in three days. The party takes note of this as they swap clothes with the deceased guard and carry him to the cells.

Back in the cleric room, Roland recovers from his paralysis only to be approached by one of the prison guards. Roland fakes having a mental breakdown, a convincing performance that stops him from being thrown back into isolation.

Placed back in the cell, Roland approaches Alfonzo and tells him that he wishes to convert after feeling the might of Alfonzo’s power. Alfonzo tells Roland to seek out “Mr. B,” who will help him. Roland acts grateful, and asks to feel Alfonzo’s touch once more, this time without the magic. Alfonzo abides and touches Roland, who then snatches the man’s hand and attempts to brand it.

In avoiding Alfonzo’s paralysis spell, Roland is able to land his mark but the brand quickly heals. In feeling Alfonzo skin, Roland feels that it is cold and unnatural.

Outside the cell, the remaining party fight two more jail guards. Magnus bull rushes the first guard, knocking him down before delivering a finishing blow. The second guard, shocked by the attack, runs managing to avoid both attacks from Judas and Happens. Reaching the door of the jail, he attempts to scream for help but is cut off by an icicle in his neck. The second guard is killed, but not before attracting the attention of the prison chief.

With the prison chief approaching, the party quickly puts on the remaining guard uniforms and makes their way to the prison exit. Though reception tries to stop them, Roland uses his strong words to keep her quiet. The party is then free to leave the prison, exiting it through the front door.

Still disguised as guards, the party makes their way back to the village square in search of Boxen Mandrake. He isn’t there, but some local villagers insist he should be at a nearby pub. In moving there they manage to find Boxen but discover that he doesn’t seem to know much…like, at all. He can only tell them to go to the eastern part of the city where they might find Mr. B wandering around. They also manage to learn more about Alfonzo’s followers, Nick, Crucio and Lambo.

The party heads to where Boxen directed them and do indeed find Mr. B. Judas approaches the incredibly strong yet fiercely effeminate Mr. B, but Mr. B is able to see through his disguise. He hits Judas with a strong burst of magic, rendering Judas unconscious.

Mr. B orders that they hand over the box and crystal, but the remaining party members refuse to acknowledge its existence. In response, Mr. B summons two fighters to his side and orders them to attack.

Roland tries to defend by swinging his axe but misses the agile fighters. In response, one attempts to punch Roland but Roland evades. Happens however does not, and is disarmed of his weapon.

Things look grim for the party until a mysterious, suave stranger comes to intervene. In pick-pocketing the box and crystal from Magnus, he hands it over to Mr. B. Satisfied Mr. B leaves and his two fighters follow.

The mysterious stranger introduces himself as “Nick,” before leaning down to inspect Judas. Roland charges at Nick, his brand ready to burn the man’s skin, but Nick easily evades. He then explains that he gave the wrong box to Mr. B, and is actually working on the inside to help bring down Alfonzo. Using a potion, he then helps Judas back on his feet. Magnus finishes these healing efforts with a group heal.

Nick then tells the party that they must destroy the box before Alfonzo is executed in two days. In order to help destroy the box, they must first seek our Eliza who can help them on this quest. Nick then leaves, ordering the party to not let anyone know of his presence. The party then discovers that Nick had secretly placed one special item in each of their pockets.
The party decides it best that they regroup for the night at the Erect Elephant, where they hope to find their missing party member Max.

Achievement Unlocked:
For The Greater Good?

Sometimes the shortest races end up having the most to prove. This must have been the case as Magnus’s escape efforts ended up being a little more zealous than necessary. As a result innocent guards brutally lost their life just for doing nothing more than their job. Even though this means that little Suzie may find life difficult without a father, or that certain homes may have to live without their holiday bonus this year, at least the party managed to escape from jail, and now can continue to try and thwart Alfonzo’s efforts. After all, don’t the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? Suppose it’s up to the Holy Sea Cow to decide….
Gained Items:*
Guards Uniform x 4: _Wallets, swords, personal belongings and all! Just try to ignore the pocketed pictures of loved ones. (party) _

Manacles x 3: Used to detain others by day but used for spicy bed play at night. (Roland)

Evidence Locker items: Extra goodies from the jail break (party).

Mysterious Nick Gifts: _Oooh! Just like Christmas. (Party)

List of Known NPCs:*
Sexy Barrista: A coffee shop worker completely infatuated with Roland and his bad boy ways. I-mean-she’s-gotta-be-neccessary-to-the-plot-right? ahem cough ahem.

Boxen Mandrake: A rather simple man with a loud voice. His favourite things are boxes and the people who stand on them.

Manuel Sinisteros: A man who lost his hand to leprosy. It’s okay though, because Alfonzo promises to help!

Alfonzo: A sinister necromancer with a dark aura and mysterious power.

Mr. B: Described as a large, girly man. He is the first follower of Alfonzo.

Nick: A man on the inside, looking to end Alfonzo’s cult. But can his motivations be trusted?

Magnus: Goblin Herpes, Guilt.
Roland: Goblin Herpes, Wererat curse

Below The Elephant Pt. 2


Our heroes continue exploring the basement of the Erect Elephant in search of the missing Lambert, in hopes of finding the man who owes them payment. Fending off an infestation of dangerous slimes, images.jpg

our heroes manage to make it into an uninhabited lair of a Necromancer. After reading through some books, Magnus accidentally summons an army of skeletons. The skeletons attack the party but are duly defeated, though Roland takes heavy damage. After the skeletons are defeated the party continues to explore the bookshelves but finds that the pages are quickly turning blank. They managed to recover a few pages. Collection_3.jpg

On the other side of the Necromancer’s lair is an altar. On top of it is a magic glowing rock that emanates the sound of a low scream. Near the rock is a box, of similar magical properties. Maximus takes both.
On their way back out of the lair, the party is attacked by larger gelatinous cubes.
Though the battle is difficult for them, thanks to Judas’ bombs mixed with the immobile yet unstable red slimes, the party manages to escape.

The fabulous five return to the topside of the Erect Elephant. The [barman] asks them about Lambert. The party shows him the crystal and then asks about the necromancer’s lair. The lair belongs to a man by the name of Alfonzo Navi. He is a mysterious man, a higher-up in the city but often joked about by the common people. He usually travels with his 12 bodyguards.

Tired and covered in mysterious slime, the party opts to buy rooms for the night. Not wanting to spend the night tied up, Roland wishes to buy a room separate from his party. The only room available is the room belonging to the [barman]. The [barman] is willing to give the room provided he doesn’t mind some “extra company” during the night. Roland gives a swift warning to the barman to leave him alone in the room.

Achievement Unlocked:
(Play of the Game Award):

The Michael Bay Way

When it comes to making things go boom, there is no more efficient among the fabulous five then Judas. In proving this, Judas set a room ablaze when he threw one of his wayward bombs into an unstable, red slime causing a chain reaction that sent him and bits of cube slime straight for the walls. Miraculously he survived and for this we award him.

Gained Items:

  1. Pages from Spell Books: 5 spells obtained (Max)/13 pages left unidentified (Magnus)
  2. 170 gold: Useful yet capitalist currency
  3. Bone Disguise: Spooky scary skeletons are coming after you! (Roland)
  4. Red Star: A bone mace that does additional fire damage. (Roland)
  5. 3x Tridents of Lightning: Can be jabbed or thrown (Party)
  6. Ring of Counterspell: Not useful for counting (Party)
  7. Mythic Armour: Protecting hobbits since 1955!
  8. Dust of Tracelessness: Enemy of CSI’s everywhere.
  9. Magic Crystal/Magically Locked Box: A crystal that emanates a low scream. Could this be the trapped soul of Lambert? Paired with the crystal is a mysterious box that remains magically sealed. (Max)

List Of Known NPCs:

Lambert: A man gone missing who owes payment to the fabulous fives for exterminating rats in his house.

Jezebelle: A sentient blob-form created by Roland after he spent some time polishing the Kremlin in the underbelly of The Erect Elephant. The creature seems to feed off of other slimes, growing each time it does so.

Magnus: Goblin Herpes
Roland: Goblin Herpes, Wererat curse

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